So today marked what should have been the first day of my June Blogging Challenge – yet I didn’t even get the promo post out last week. I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed lately which leaves me drained, both physically and mentally. This has been such a block for me and in quite a comparison to the energy I typically feel I can throw around towards my to-do’s and goal building…so where does this leave me?
Last week, those overwhelming and draining moments put me on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I easily went from happy and excited to spiraling into endless possibilities of failure. The anxiety was there for sure last week. And poor all those loving souls that are part of my life and had to watch it go down – and super, big thank you for loving me anyways.
Thankfully I have a wonderful set of friends that awesome cheerleaders and also know how to call me out on my bullshit when need be (you know who you are!). I also have been blessed and put into the right place at the right time with a wonderful man (who yes is snoring very loudly next to me right now as I type away. Sorry babe, I couldn’t resist calling you out but I love you anyways). This man is doing his thing to help me keep on track and is so super supportive of my dreams and my crazy life.
With all that said, I survived last week. And I learned a good bit through it.
So anxiety sucks and it comes in all shapes and forms. Sometimes it’s there without a warning and makes no sense. And other times, you know it’s coming. Depression can do the same thing.
It’s here. I have to deal with it. I can’t wrinkle my nose and than wahlah it’ll just go away. I also can’t hide under the covers for days and days until it goes away. Life must go on, however I can.
Be real with yourself. If it’s too much, then say it’s too much. If you need help then damnit you better ask for help. You are responsible for this.
You have to practice forgiveness – even more so when you are feeling down or low. Let go of the grudges, they’re too heavy to carry. And more than anything, forgive yourself for anything and everything. Don’t block yourself from moving forward.
A bad day won’t last forever. Even a bad week will eventually end.
Routines are healing. Get up and shower. Do housework. Get back to your Yoga practice or exercise routine.
A year ago, I wouldn’t be able to talk about this so openly. But I can now because I no longer feel alone. Instead I feel brave. And I want to share my story. I want to share my love and my support. This is because I chose to make changes in my life. It doesn’t mean I will never struggle but I’ve created opportunities for myself to not stay stuck and to learn to manage all of the messiness. I’m learning to be happy in any situation. That is courage. That is strength.
One of the biggest changes I have made is forcing myself to keep moving forward no matter how I’m feeling or what’s going on in my life. I still take breaks and I still have low days. But the difference is I make myself look past them (this takes a lot of practice and discipline I won’t lie).
My Challenge to Myself: Finding Harmony and Balance Again
So what would have been a blogging challenge kicking off has transformed into a “harmony” challenge. Because this is what I need right now.
- Each day I will commend myself for crossing a few things off my to-do list instead of scolding myself for not getting it all done. I will practice appreciating myself more through this.
- I will do one thing each day that is productively working towards my goals (and not ten).
- I will practice one good, healthy, feel-good self-care practice each day. Sunday evening I read. This evening I did Yoga.
- I will tell myself good things about myself.
- I will allow others to love me.
My goal for this challenge is to become grounded again in my life. It is designed to expel the overwhelm and worry and focus myself back in the moment. This is how I will take control back again.