How to Stop Making Assumptions About Yourself

You know the saying “assume makes an ass out of you and me”? How many times does this prove true? How many times do you find that your assumptions about a situation or a person turn out wrong? I’ll say 8 out 10 times…sometimes it’s not an assumption, it’s an intuition. But that’s not what I was going to chat about tonight…

Tonight I wanted to talk about how we don’t only make assumptions about situations and other people but we fall into the same trap about ourselves. We assume we’ll react to a certain situation, we assume we can’t accomplish a goal……the assumption we create in our head is manifested by fear isn’t it? Don’t we get to choose how we react in a situation? Don’t we get the chance to make a difference? Don’t we have the power to push past fear and set our minds to reach that goal?

So are assumptions actually blocks we put in place to protect ourselves from disappointment? What if you pushed through those thoughts? What if you took the power back and opened your mind, saw past the blocks we put in place?

Another place we make assumptions is in how other people view us. The best advice I ever read is “what other people think about us is none of our business”… mostly true. Physically, let that shit go. Learn to love yourself and how you look. Love your body, your mind, your heart and your soul. If you love yourself fiercely, then others will too – and more importantly the right people will love you no matter what. If you want to lose weight or get more fit, then do it for yourself and not for anyone else because that really is none of their damn business.

I find myself in thoughts of worrying about what other people think about me and how I make them feel…so I’ve started asking instead of assuming. Asking gives me the power over my mind. It becomes their responsibility to be honest with me.

My challenge to you (and to myself) is when you find you’re making an assumption, stop… do this instead:

  1. Break it down – dissect it. What concerns, thoughts, fears are driving you to this assumption?
  2. Evaluate it – Okay, are these concerns and fears justified by facts? Are they based on previous experiences and can you take steps to change the outcome?
  3. What other possible outcomes are there? Is your assumption built up of ultimate facts?
  4. If it’s proven facts that the outcome will be then it’s not an assumption…if it’s an assumption, take a deep breath and let it go.

My Thoughts & Realizations about ‘Adventures for Your Soul’

I spent January reading ‘Adventures for your Soul’ by Shannon Kaiser. This book was filled with reminders of how to push towards your dreams and live to your full potential. She reminded me that to truly find our passions and live them we have to be true to ourselves, we have to love ourselves honestly and openly. Shannon outlines ’21 Ways to Transform Your Habits and Reach Your Full Potential’ breaking it down into action items for the reader to put into place right away, creating new, positive thought patterns. She shares examples in how she actively changed her life to a life she loves by sharing her story and how she overcame her challenges. I loved how Shannon included notes of awareness of habits that are creating blocks of the happiness we desire and motivational mantras.

Some of my favorite parts & Lessons:

“Emotions are the way that you assess or react to a situation. Emotions are rooted in assessing situations, whereas feelings are grounded in truth in the moment. Emotions are often in your head, whereas feelings are inspired by your body and heart……Distinguishing between the two is an important step in moving forward in life with clarity and confidence.”

“We lean into love by recognizing that everything is in our life for a reason, that we are in those situations to help us grow and to learn……They lead us to new opportunities and to new doors that may open, but life is an ever-expansive journey where we are growing, changing, and morphing into what we want to be based on where we have come from.”

“Accept where you are fully to reach where you want to go faster. You are not broken; there is nothing to fix.”

“……it doesn’t matter what our life “looks” like, it matters how our life feels.”

“…….ask yourself what you want, and what feels good for you in the moment. Aligning with your own truth in each moment will help you become who you want to be.”

What I realized reading this book is that I shared so many of the beliefs Shannon was sharing in her book but I have been limiting myself. I have only been going halfway in. I need to commit to my beliefs, my passions and my dreams, go all in, allow them to lead me in my life. 

You can check out more about the book here.

All opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive payments for leads/sales. For more information please reference my disclosure page.  
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“Bust Out the Bubbly” – My 2018 Goals & Intentions

I decided that this year I’m leaving 2017 in 2017. Don’t come knocking past because I’m looking forward. I’m using the lessons I learned from my challenges and set backs to help me grow and to propel me forward. This coming year is the year I’m going to let go and flourish. I’m going to open up and bloom for the world to see. I’m going to learn to love myself so fiercely that rays of light bust out of me like a feverish disco ball. I’m going to own 2018. I’m going to stop thinking about it and I’m going to do it. 2016 was about realization, 2017 was for planning, 2018 will be my debut – the beginning of a masterpiece. I’m leaving the mess behind and walking into a world of possibilities this year and I’m going to do it my way.

 Areas of Focus –

19 Things Before 2019

Level 10 Life

Commit30

By products of my goals: stronger and deeper relationships with my family and friends, better self-esteem, money and financial security, style and grace, a simpler and more comforting lifestyle, a more positive story to tell, a stronger body and mind, more artwork, and a better understanding of myself and the world around me.

 Now down to the meat and potatoes of my business goals for 2018…which is a huge part of who I am and what I want out of life.

Business in 2018 –

Blog & Coaching

Boutique

Young Living Essential Oils

I spent a lot of time the end of this year planning out what I wanted 2018 to look for me and set a loose timeline of how it will play out. This gave me the opportunity to see things in a manageable way and to envision my goals realistically playing out. The first half of the year I will be focusing on launching and starting the steps to build my dreams. The second half of the year will be focused on defining and growth.

Jan-Mar – Quarter 1 – Organization of blog, social media promotion schedules and routine, launch boutique, start Young Living Essential Oils business.

Apr-Jun – Quarter 2 – Launch Coaching, defining and developing boutique and essential oils business.

Jul-Sep – Quarter 3 – Focus on business growth across all areas.

Oct-Dec – Quarter 4 – Continue to focus on business growth, evaluate year and start building plan for 2019.

I am a super planner type but what I learned in 2017 is that I can get myself stuck in the planning and dreaming and become a bit overwhelmed in all that I set out in front of me to accomplish. There is no perfect time to start but if you never get started then you’ll never give yourself the chance to finish. This coming year, my focus is on starting – wherever and however that may be. I am going to focus on my year one quarter at a time and learn as I go…and I’m going to allow my beliefs, my values, and my intuition guide me in all that I do.

Cheers to a New Year!

How Powerful Core Beliefs Will Guide Your Life & Happiness

Our beliefs can transform our lives. Many of my beliefs I have carried with me year after year,  helping shape me into the person I am today and the person I strive to be. These beliefs have continued to inspire and motivate me in each of my days. They give me strength and hope and the fire to keep going no matter what obstacles or heartache come my way.

Your beliefs become your perspective. 

What you put out into the world is what will be returned to you. Life is a circle, if you send good energy out, that is what you will be returned with. Although not all things in life will be roses, choose not to only see the thorns. Each experience that you have in life is preparing you for something much grander. If you chose to believe that, then you can be at peace in knowing that good things are coming no matter where you are in life right now. Keep your head up and keep pushing forward towards your goals and dreams and you will arrive when the time is right. Creating a positive mindset will help you get there. We each have the ability to change our way of thinking, to control how much power we give to negativity and circumstances, and the power to not allow situations or people control our emotions, feelings, and outcomes.

Create strong core beliefs and hold on to them to get you through anything. 

Why It’s Important to Let Go of Toxic Judgments

Today I extend my gratitude for partnership, love, and like minds. This is a post from my dear, fellow, and loving blogger Samantha at www.strivingmommablog.com on acceptance, modeling Mother Teresa’s beliefs, and practicing compassion. We need to understand that everyone walks their own path, everyone has a story, and everyone has their own motivators. Our purpose here is to share love, not to judge. We hold no right to judge. Judgment many times comes from the lack of understanding. Samantha shares her thoughts on judgment and why it is so important to follow Mother Teresa’s words, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Without further ado, Samantha’s words: 

I recently started becoming more active on social media lately after a year’s-long hiatus. I knew of drama being a regular occurrence on Facebook, but I hadn’t been prepared for just how much. A lot of people on my Facebook feed—not to mention on the news and in my everyday life—are being hateful and spewing criticisms about anything and everything. It has really made me take notice of how often I’m judging others, and I’ve come to a conclusion: I have to start letting go of my judgments and personal biases.

I understand completely that differences in opinions or lifestyles can be annoying or even angering. I really do. Sometimes I have a strong urge to tell someone they’re an idiot for believing what they believe. But instead of doing that, I take a moment to tell myself that I’m the one in the wrong. I am the idiot for thinking that. In moments like these, I know I need to take Mother Teresa’s stance: I can’t love others if I judge them.

Maybe I do disagree completely with someone’s beliefs. Maybe we don’t see eye to eye on things, and never will. However, that doesn’t give me the right to judge or condemn them. If I do that, I’m guilty of bigotry, and that isn’t acceptable to me. In my opinion, every person has a duty to be accepting and tolerant of others’ opinions. Even if someone is hateful and rude, I still need to be respectful, because if I’m not…what makes me any better than them?

If you’re respectful and loving rather than judgmental, you’ll be able to gain insight and understanding. You may even form new opinions or beliefs.  You may also stand by your original opinion. However, no matter your personal, political, or religious beliefs, it’s your duty as a human being to love others. You can’t love someone and be judgmental of them at the same time. That isn’t to say you can’t disagree with them; it only means you have to be respectful in your disagreements. Because really, holding on to hateful judgments doesn’t just hurt the other person, it hurts you. Let go of toxic judgments and instead love your fellow humans, regardless of their beliefs.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”   -Mother Teresa

Hear more of Samantha’s thoughts on everyday life at www.strivingmommablog.com or visit her at www.pinterest.com/strivingmomma or at Twitter @StrivingMomma.

I want to thank Samantha for sharing her lesson and her thoughts on this matter. Judgment has become a very sensitive thing in our world and we many times use it as a weapon. The thing about judgement is that it’s like a drug. We may feel at first high and almighty but in truth by being judgmental it’s tearing down our own character. By having this point of view we are not allowing ourselves to be our authentic true selves and give the love we are meant to give, we are not allowing our light of truth to shine. Open your heart, practice understanding through love, and share compassion with yourself and with others.