Last night I stopped by a local brewery and grabbed a beer. It was a last minute decision after running to the store. This was a solo stop and I almost didn’t do it. I almost let fear and society stigma stop me from doing it. But I pushed myself, it was something I wanted to do and I was going to do it. I had to conquer the thoughts of if it was acceptable or not for me being a woman and being alone. I had to push out the face that there was the possibility I could feel lonely there among all the other people. I was totally the solo girl in the corner with her beer and fries (yeah I went all out and went for the fries), face tucked in my phone…but I was happy. I was happy being solo there watching everyone buzz around me. I’m coming along nicely in really starting to enjoy being single. It’s been awhile since I’ve truly been single…meaning I’m not even really thinking about finding a relationship right now. Sure I have some moments where I think it’d be nice to have a partner but it’s a different thought process. Heck, I can even give a you a little laundry list of why it’s better being single. I’ve always thought I had been pretty independent. I’ve always been able to handle things on my own but I’m not sure I even truly enjoyed doing things on my own before now. I truly enjoyed being alone last night. This isn’t saying I’m going to become one of those hard-knock girls that will never need a man (or will I? just kidding!) but it’s saying I am okay and I am happy on my own. I know my worth, I know what I want and I’m not willing to settle just to be in a couple. I’m okay waiting for the right one. Some of my friends are concerned I’m becoming disinterested…maybe I am a little but not out of defeat or negativity. I have other things going on, other things I’m really focused on right now and actively seeking out a relationship seems like an unnecessary distraction for me right now. Okay, there I may have sounded like that hard-knock, super independent gal but so what, it’s real. Being in a relationship is a distraction, not negative always, but still a distraction. It’s something else to tend to and when it’s right it’s totally worth it but right now I don’t have that in front of me and I’m trusting that the Universe (or I will) decide when it’s right to go after it again. I don’t want to go after dating because I’m bored, or I’m lonely, or because it’s what society implies I should do. I want to go after it because it’s what I truly want and what I feel is right for me in that moment of time. Right now, overall I’m happy being single. I’m good y’all.
There’s simple, trivial pleasures of being single and then there’s big perks that are pushing me to develop myself more and grow more as an individual.
- I can focus on me and just me.
- I don’t have to balance my time and schedule with someone else’s.
- I don’t have to worry about cordials as much.
- I don’t have to share the bed (except with my dog…she’s a bit of a bed hog lol).
- I can spend more time working towards my goals and dreams.
- I don’t have to shave my legs if I don’t feel like it.
- I didn’t have to buy anything for Valentine’s Day.
- I can work late and not have to worry about missing dinner.
- I can ignore my phone for an evening.
- I can focus on me and just me…this is a big one for me. I am naturally a caretaker so taking that task out of the scenario has forced me to put myself front and center and take care of myself more and not so much others.
I’m not saying I never want to be in a relationship again, because I do, I do dream of a happy and healthy relationship and I foresee that in my future. But right now I’m very “me” focused and I’m enjoying it. I’m rolling with it. I’m focusing on what’s in front of me and my goals. And the next time I am in a relationship, I’ll be a better me in it, a better part of the relationship.
