How to Stop Making Assumptions About Yourself

You know the saying “assume makes an ass out of you and me”? How many times does this prove true? How many times do you find that your assumptions about a situation or a person turn out wrong? I’ll say 8 out 10 times…sometimes it’s not an assumption, it’s an intuition. But that’s not what I was going to chat about tonight…

Tonight I wanted to talk about how we don’t only make assumptions about situations and other people but we fall into the same trap about ourselves. We assume we’ll react to a certain situation, we assume we can’t accomplish a goal……the assumption we create in our head is manifested by fear isn’t it? Don’t we get to choose how we react in a situation? Don’t we get the chance to make a difference? Don’t we have the power to push past fear and set our minds to reach that goal?

So are assumptions actually blocks we put in place to protect ourselves from disappointment? What if you pushed through those thoughts? What if you took the power back and opened your mind, saw past the blocks we put in place?

Another place we make assumptions is in how other people view us. The best advice I ever read is “what other people think about us is none of our business”… mostly true. Physically, let that shit go. Learn to love yourself and how you look. Love your body, your mind, your heart and your soul. If you love yourself fiercely, then others will too – and more importantly the right people will love you no matter what. If you want to lose weight or get more fit, then do it for yourself and not for anyone else because that really is none of their damn business.

I find myself in thoughts of worrying about what other people think about me and how I make them feel…so I’ve started asking instead of assuming. Asking gives me the power over my mind. It becomes their responsibility to be honest with me.

My challenge to you (and to myself) is when you find you’re making an assumption, stop… do this instead:

  1. Break it down – dissect it. What concerns, thoughts, fears are driving you to this assumption?
  2. Evaluate it – Okay, are these concerns and fears justified by facts? Are they based on previous experiences and can you take steps to change the outcome?
  3. What other possible outcomes are there? Is your assumption built up of ultimate facts?
  4. If it’s proven facts that the outcome will be then it’s not an assumption…if it’s an assumption, take a deep breath and let it go.

My Thoughts & Realizations about ‘Adventures for Your Soul’

I spent January reading ‘Adventures for your Soul’ by Shannon Kaiser. This book was filled with reminders of how to push towards your dreams and live to your full potential. She reminded me that to truly find our passions and live them we have to be true to ourselves, we have to love ourselves honestly and openly. Shannon outlines ’21 Ways to Transform Your Habits and Reach Your Full Potential’ breaking it down into action items for the reader to put into place right away, creating new, positive thought patterns. She shares examples in how she actively changed her life to a life she loves by sharing her story and how she overcame her challenges. I loved how Shannon included notes of awareness of habits that are creating blocks of the happiness we desire and motivational mantras.

Some of my favorite parts & Lessons:

“Emotions are the way that you assess or react to a situation. Emotions are rooted in assessing situations, whereas feelings are grounded in truth in the moment. Emotions are often in your head, whereas feelings are inspired by your body and heart……Distinguishing between the two is an important step in moving forward in life with clarity and confidence.”

“We lean into love by recognizing that everything is in our life for a reason, that we are in those situations to help us grow and to learn……They lead us to new opportunities and to new doors that may open, but life is an ever-expansive journey where we are growing, changing, and morphing into what we want to be based on where we have come from.”

“Accept where you are fully to reach where you want to go faster. You are not broken; there is nothing to fix.”

“……it doesn’t matter what our life “looks” like, it matters how our life feels.”

“…….ask yourself what you want, and what feels good for you in the moment. Aligning with your own truth in each moment will help you become who you want to be.”

What I realized reading this book is that I shared so many of the beliefs Shannon was sharing in her book but I have been limiting myself. I have only been going halfway in. I need to commit to my beliefs, my passions and my dreams, go all in, allow them to lead me in my life. 

You can check out more about the book here.

All opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive payments for leads/sales. For more information please reference my disclosure page.  
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“Bust Out the Bubbly” – My 2018 Goals & Intentions

I decided that this year I’m leaving 2017 in 2017. Don’t come knocking past because I’m looking forward. I’m using the lessons I learned from my challenges and set backs to help me grow and to propel me forward. This coming year is the year I’m going to let go and flourish. I’m going to open up and bloom for the world to see. I’m going to learn to love myself so fiercely that rays of light bust out of me like a feverish disco ball. I’m going to own 2018. I’m going to stop thinking about it and I’m going to do it. 2016 was about realization, 2017 was for planning, 2018 will be my debut – the beginning of a masterpiece. I’m leaving the mess behind and walking into a world of possibilities this year and I’m going to do it my way.

 Areas of Focus –

19 Things Before 2019

Level 10 Life

Commit30

By products of my goals: stronger and deeper relationships with my family and friends, better self-esteem, money and financial security, style and grace, a simpler and more comforting lifestyle, a more positive story to tell, a stronger body and mind, more artwork, and a better understanding of myself and the world around me.

 Now down to the meat and potatoes of my business goals for 2018…which is a huge part of who I am and what I want out of life.

Business in 2018 –

Blog & Coaching

Boutique

Young Living Essential Oils

I spent a lot of time the end of this year planning out what I wanted 2018 to look for me and set a loose timeline of how it will play out. This gave me the opportunity to see things in a manageable way and to envision my goals realistically playing out. The first half of the year I will be focusing on launching and starting the steps to build my dreams. The second half of the year will be focused on defining and growth.

Jan-Mar – Quarter 1 – Organization of blog, social media promotion schedules and routine, launch boutique, start Young Living Essential Oils business.

Apr-Jun – Quarter 2 – Launch Coaching, defining and developing boutique and essential oils business.

Jul-Sep – Quarter 3 – Focus on business growth across all areas.

Oct-Dec – Quarter 4 – Continue to focus on business growth, evaluate year and start building plan for 2019.

I am a super planner type but what I learned in 2017 is that I can get myself stuck in the planning and dreaming and become a bit overwhelmed in all that I set out in front of me to accomplish. There is no perfect time to start but if you never get started then you’ll never give yourself the chance to finish. This coming year, my focus is on starting – wherever and however that may be. I am going to focus on my year one quarter at a time and learn as I go…and I’m going to allow my beliefs, my values, and my intuition guide me in all that I do.

Cheers to a New Year!

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The Power of Hope

The idea of hope came up in a conversation today. I spent part of my hour drive home thinking about it.

Hope. noun – the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. verb – to feel that something desired may happen; to believe, desire, or trust.

The comment made to me was “All we can hold onto is hope.” He was right. We are meant to hold onto hope. Isn’t hope the motivator of so many things that we do in our lives? We buy a lottery ticket because we hope we win. We go to the job interview because we are hoping to get the job. We go on dates hoping to find someone we connect with. We take the medicine hoping to get better. Hope is a big part of our existence. It is why we wake up every morning. It is not an empty thought that we hold onto, it drives us to keep trying every day, to keep at it in our lives.

Isn’t it when we give up hope that we give up? How would we fulfill our lives and our destines without hope? What would drive us to go after our desires and our goals? 

I have a tattoo on my foot that I read to myself quite often, “Faith is hope on fire”. I got the tattoo when I was having a rough time in life. I got it to remind myself to believe; to have faith, to hope, to trust that the best is coming and that everything will work out. Hope is what drives me to work through tough times. It reminds me that things will get better, that rough times are temporary.

In today’s world troubles can be often. Ups and downs are constant in our lives. Hope, faith, and trust will get you through. We must believe in the power of hope. The power that awakens us each morning.

Never give up hope.

 

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Why I’m Putting Myself First

Earlier this week I wrote about the anxiety I was feeling and how much it had been kicking my butt and overwhelming my brain. This week I made it a goal to focus on myself and my goals, after all it is a new month and for me that always presents itself as a new beginning. It has made a huge difference in my thought patterns with putting myself back in focus.

So this week I made it all about me. It was tough at first because I felt selfish and it felt out of character for me a little. The challenge is finding the balance. I can get so wrapped up in doing things for everyone else that I end up leaving myself in the dust. I needed this week to find myself again. Putting myself first didn’t mean I was neglecting everyone else but it did mean I had to say no to some things that weren’t what I needed that moment and it meant that I said no to negativity and it meant that I needed to make time for the things I wanted to do and needed to do. I still spent time with family and friends this week but I also made it a priority for “me” time. I made the time to have a counseling appointment so I can work through my thoughts. I made time to go to the gym. I spent the time with my friends walking instead of drinking a beer and eating all that yummy not-so-good for you food. I made it a priority to blog each evening – which I did at the kitchen table with my mom so we could chat too. I said no to eating out last weekend so I could be home where I wanted to be…and I cooked which was relaxing.

I just got home from the gym from my first personal training appointment. Fitness is something that I know is important for me to have in everyone of my weeks yet so many times I push it aside to make time for other things. But because this week was all about me, I was able to commit to something that I needed to commit to and it feels awesome. I feel more energized, my mind is clearer and I’m motivated to do more. This week I started a new fitness journey with my personal training and I’m really excited about it. Although I do have the physical goal of toning up a bit, my real goals are to build strength, endurance and energy. I learned this morning that I’ll be learning to do RDLs and Deadlifts – who would have thought a couple years back that I’ll be weight-lift training?! 

See here’s the thing. We as a society want to do so much for everyone else which is amazing and we should but what we many times don’t learn is that we have to take care of ourselves too. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish if you do it the right way. Self-Care and Self-Love are not narcissistic, they’re part of a healthy life and routine. In truth if you are truly loving and taking care of yourself, you’ll be able to do so much more for everyone else and you’ll be able to do it for the right reasons.  Spend time with loved ones because you want to not because you feel obligated. Go to the gym because you want to better yourself not because you want to fit in. Eat healthy because you want to fuel your body not because it’s the trendy thing to do. See where I’m going with this? Let the love you build for yourself energize your day and your actions. Be nice to people because you want to be a nice person. We spend so much time looking outside of ourselves for motivation, strength and hope but really it’s all inside of us.

What I found out this week is that a lot, well most, of my anxiety was stemming because I had fallen off track, off my track, my path. I had stopped thinking about me, or I was thinking about me in all the wrong ways. I got stuck thinking about what mistakes I had made instead of looking forward to what I was working on. When I looked back I saw things I did wrong instead of the lessons I had learned and how far I had come. 

My “Me” Goals:

Exercising several times during the week. Being active daily.

Journaling – whether it be writing or art-journaling, something to relieve thoughts and emotions from my mind.

Choosing to eat healthier because I feel better when I do – minus the McDonalds I indulged in yesterday!

Stop focusing on what everyone else thinks and just be myself. The only standards that really matter are the ones I set for myself. 

Work towards my goals and dreams every day, no matter how little or how big of a step I make forward, to do something everyday. 

When I focus on taking care of myself, everything else falls into place. 

My advice for the week: Go look at yourself in the mirror and say this: “I am beautiful. I am strong. I will overcome this and anything else that comes my way. Pain and troubles are temporary. Today may be hard but another day will come and I will beat it.” 

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A Delayed #ArtThursday

So super late, must admit, the last week has felt a bit overwhelming, just so much that has crept up on my plate. In some moments I feel like quitting and crawling under the covers and sleeping right through all the chaos but in most of the moments I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I finally got home last evening I was having a “ah, forget it, I’m so tired moment” but then some little things with big impact to me happened…I received two of my product shipments for my upcoming store launch (more news to come in the future about that!) and I saw my latest unfinished painting sitting on my dresser where I had strategically placed it to finish for an upcoming local art show with the very soon deadline of midnight last night, and I felt a little bit of inspiration creep up inside me. I realized I couldn’t catch up on it all last night but I did pull out my paints and I felt motivated again.

Sometimes lining up the art show deadlines on my calendar can add to the stress…but the actual part of letting loose in my artwork is where my therapy comes in… last night I sat down on my bed, watercolor pencils in hand, with no definite thought of where I was going to go with my painting, other than it was a bug and I had decided I was going to paint a praying mantis. The thing I love about diving into my paintings is that I find freedom and escape there. The more I let loose, the more exuberant my paintings become. My paintings are teaching me that the process is many times more important than the end result. I’m learning to live more in the moment and to focus on the process in all areas of my life through my art sessions. You can check out more of my artwork on my Artist Instagram account

Do you paint, do you draw? What activities do you find escape in? Share your arts and craft projects!!!

Link Up! 

(And because I was late, I extended the open party!)


Next Link Up June 8th!!!

Celebrational Thoughts Of National Serpent Day

Today was National Serpent Day…On this special day I am reminded of the great power that this animal represents for us in our lives bringing about healing and change, growth into a new beginning. It brings forth great self-awareness and spiritual guidance leading to an awakening of our life force, nudging us forward to our destiny and abundance.  It symbolizes the shedding of an old life and old habits and unleashing great personal power. It gives us the ability to sense our surroundings more sensitively so that we may navigate through our lives in a more purposeful and intentional manner to make wise decisions in our direction. 

The serpent reminds us of the power of change and transformation. Even though change can be difficult and at times messy it is necessary for our journey. Even if it may cause discomfort, just as a snake sheds its skin we must also shed things to grow. Change will in the end make us stronger and more vibrant as we are meant to be. 

              My pup with her new snake toy

Fit Body, Mind, & Spirit: My 12 Rules For A Healthy, Happy Life

I’ve been spending some time reading over old posts and it’s been enlightening seeing how far I’ve come. Nothing brings me more comfort than knowing that I am continuously growing and moving towards become more like me and working towards creating a life that I love and am destined to live. 

In 2014, I wrote a list post “If I knew what I know now (in reference to if I knew what I knew then when I had been nineteen) some particular things stuck out to me:

“I would have spent less time trying to “fix” other people and more time focused on myself.” 

“I would have appreciated the things I already had more and less time worrying about the things I didn’t have.”

“I would have accepted failure as steps to success.”

About a year ago, I wrote a post of things I had learned about myself – What I’ve Learned About Myself in which I discovered more some simple things like how managing my blood sugar levels also helps me manage my moods but also things such as alone time and organization are key factors to staying balanced. 

Once again I’ve come to reflect on how much I have grown, how much stronger I have become, and how much progress I have made with my internal goals…and how much further I have yet to go. 

1. Do not judge. 

2. Let go of anger.

3. Be patient, with life, with yourself, with ones around you.

4. Focus on the present.

5. Do all things in love.

6. Live simply.

7. Only allow things that bring value and joy into your life.

8. Take care of yourself first.

9. Live your life like you are an example.

10. Live with intention not regret. 

11. Take a break once in awhile.

12. Keep learning, keep trying, and keep growing. 

I have many plans in mind for myself and this year that focus will not change. I am very happy of how far I’ve come and that motivates me to continue to strive for more. What do I have in store for myself this year? I plan to work towards a more minimalist lifestyle, continue working towards becoming a pro at self care, continuing to focus on steps to make my dreams come true, refocus on my spiritual studies, and yoga & meditation practices, and become all-around more fit – in mind, body, and spirit. 

10 Simple Morning Self-Care Routines for an Amazing Day

The start of the day is the moment when we stage how our day is going to roll out. We can decide in those moments if we are going to make it a good day. Set yourself up for success by practicing self-care rituals to strengthen yourself for anything the day may bring.

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  1. Before you get out of bed, take three deep breaths. Clear your mind of any lingering thoughts before getting up. My rule is that I do not get up until I have breathed and let go and cleared my mind. I tell myself that I refuse to take negativity into my new day.
  2. Get out of bed and stretch. Stand tall and reach up high, elongating your body as much as you can. Reach back and pull your body into an arch, then lean forward and touch the floor. Or do a Morning Yoga Routine – https://yogainternational.com/article/view/graceful-morning-flow
  3. Make your bed. Tidy up your room. Create a clean area for a clean mind, an open mind.
  4. Make a cup of tea. Tea has been proven to be calming and cleansing. Creating a calm atmosphere prepares you for a calm day.
  5. Review your planner. See what is on your agenda for the day, create your thoughts around planning for an efficient and productive day.
  6. Read an affirmation or a Mantra. Read it aloud to yourself, write it down. Here are some I use for my Self-Care:
  7. “May my heart be brave, my mind fierce, and my spirit free.”
  8. “My soul is ready to live the life of my dreams.” ~ Sarah Prout
  9. “Special things are about to happen for me and I am ready to allow it.”
  10. “I am focused and persistent. I will never quit.”
  11. “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer
  12. Be still and just listen. After reading your mantra, take a moment to process it. Listen to the sounds around you, whether it is rain falling, birds singing, or cars bustling by on a busy street, just listen, find peace in the morning sounds.
  13. Write down three things you are grateful for. Write them in your planner so that you can be reminded of them throughout the day.
  14. Give your pup or your kitty a hug. Or child, or parent, or significant other, or your best friend… Feel the unconditional love they have for you fill you. Let that unconditional love stay with you all day. When you become frustrated, think of them.
  15. Before you walk out the door, say to yourself, “I’ve got this. I will make today amazing. No matter what today brings, I can handle it.” Say this as many times as you need to today because you do have this. You are strong enough to handle anything, you just have to believe it.

So go out into the world today and have a wonderful day, not because of what happens to you, but because you choose to.