10 Powerful Life Lessons That Will Make You Happier

I have been thinking of writing a post of this sort for a few years now…well since the year I turned thirty…this coming August I’ll be turning thirty-four…guess I felt I still had some lessons to learn before I was ready to share. I used to think that roadblocks, delays or procrastination were forms of failure. I thought that they were things holding us back from success. Today I sit and I ponder the idea that maybe all of those things get in our way to help us be more prepared for when the opportunity strikes. Take dating for example. I haven’t ever met anyone that doesn’t have a story of heartbreak. Heartbreaks are necessary for our growth, an opportunity to learn more about our ourselves and about what we not only want in our lives (and relationships) but also what we need. I believe that applies in several other areas of our lives as well. The failed business or career dreams that pushed us to learn new skills and new ways to prevail. I’m not the same girl I was twenty years ago, ten years ago, or even a year ago. I’ve evolved with every experience and it’s a beautiful and powerful process and I owe that to the challenges, the delays and the procrastination that gave me the time to absorb the things I needed to become this person. 

  1. Learn to love yourself. – Learn to love yourself fully, unconditionally and fiercely. I know I preach this all of the time but this was one of my greatest lessons. Love yourself the way you love others. You deserve as much love yourself as you give out to others. This doesn’t mean I don’t get disappointed with myself, it doesn’t mean that I think of myself higher than anyone else either. It means that I have to see myself in the perspective that I look at others in. It means that I have to see the good in myself everyday, it means that I have to be accepting of who I am and also take responsibility for the things I want to change and how I want to grow. It means I have to make it a priority to take care of myself – body, soul, mind and heart.
  2. Learn to forgive. – Forgive everything, everyone, every situation. Spite and anger will eat you from the inside out. We’ve all been hurt, we’ve all dated the jerk, we’ve all been slighted or been cut in front of in line, life just sucks sometimes. Sometimes it just has to come down to spitting out the famous phrase, “shit happens” and moving on.
  3. Be patient. – I suck at patience. I want instant gratification just as bad as the rest of you do. I want to awake in the morning and have an empire sitting in front of me. I want the paint on my canvas to dry immediately…but time is something we need to discover possibilities. Time is space, space allows things to grow. Be patient and allow the process to roll out.
  4. Anger is okay sometimes. – Anger can be a motivator – if and only if you learn how to process it effectively and thoroughly. Anger is not a true emotion, it is a reaction to other emotions. You become angry because you are hurt, or scared, or disappointed or whatever. Expose the true root of the anger. Use this to motivate you to make positive changes.
  5. You are responsible for yourself, not anyone else. – For what you do and for how you feel. You want to be happier? Stop blaming it on circumstances in your life…either choose a new perspective or change the circumstances.
  6. Don’t accept the mundane. – Do something you love everyday. Add your twist on everything. Make every moment magical. Love glitter? Carry the damn glitter notebook. Live your life full of color. Shake it off and laugh often.
  7. Take time to be lazy. – I am actually one of those weirdos that likes to stay busy. I don’t know what to do with myself when I don’t have a notebook full of to-do tasks and at least ten projects in motion, but you’ll burn out. I know this from experience (lots of experience) and yes I still struggle with this one but I’m getting better, Netflix helps…
  8. Stand up for yourself. – In all places (respectfully of course) but in all areas of your life. Speak your mind.
  9. Never stop learning. – I believe that we are meant to explore, experience and absorb as much information and wisdom as we can in our lives. Life is supposed to flow, we are not meant to be stagnant.
  10. Take risks. – Make a bucket list. Don’t let fear hold you back from goals, dreams, or telling someone how you feel.

 

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A Letter To My Past Lovers (Dear My Once Called Darling Love)

To All My Past Lovers:

I hope you go out there and find yourself. I hope you explore and experience the world with eyes wide open. Maybe I gave you too much, maybe I didn’t give you enough. Maybe I hurt you, maybe you hurt me, or maybe we hurt each other. Maybe we were too different or maybe we too much of the same. I hope you are learning to let go. I hope you have forgiven. I hope you have moved on. I am ready to forgive. I am ready to let go. I am ready to move on. I want to let go of the pain we had when we were together and when we left each other. I want to start a new relationship with someone else and leave ours behind. Not to be forgotten, but to leave the baggage and take only the lessons learned and the strength grown. I want to have fresh eyes and an open heart again. I want you to have the same. I want us to both be free. 

I have thought these words many times yet there is still a deep part of me that holds on. This is a lesson of detachment I must learn, one of many lessons I am learning. I allowed my heart to harden from pain and disappointment from past relationships. Though I in many ways have moved on, there are still fragments that I cling to. I am ready to leave these behind. I am ready to start anew with someone new. When we allow those little fragments to stay within us we drag them everywhere we go and into new relationships. This can be weighing over time. I am sharing these words to set them free, to push them into the vast airs of the worlds. These words come from my heart. I do not wish ill to any of my lost relationships or friendships. I hope that we have all learned and grown from all of our experiences. I truly believe there is a lesson in everything but today I am choosing to take the lesson but leave the resent and the pain. Today I set myself free.

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A Story of Loss and Finding

On the Monday he had texted me crying, I dropped everything and ran to him. A month prior he had told me he needed space because he didn’t know what he wanted. The whole drive there my body was shaking from the anxiety that filled it. I didn’t listen then, but that was my intuition telling me not to go, but instead I pushed on…six days later, I sat at home once again heart broken. 

It wasn’t that I was losing him that hurt the most, maybe it was the disappointment that I couldn’t save us, maybe it was the disappointment in myself that hurt the most. I loved him but I knew we weren’t the best fit. I mean I’m Sally Freaking Sunshine and he’s well Bah-Humbug. But it was the rejection that hurt so much. It was that he didn’t, or couldn’t, love me back the way I loved him. The truth was he drained me, but I stayed with him because I loved him. I loved every one of his broken pieces intensely and purely. I stayed even though I was exhausted, hoping that he would pull himself up eventually. I had looked at him differently than I had at any other man. When he was ugly, through my eyes I saw beauty underneath it all. When he cried, his eyes turned a vibrant blue shining the rawness of his emotions onto me and I fell deeper in love with him. He was telling me he was leaving because he was in love with another woman but I still couldn’t find anger towards him. He had betrayed my love yet all I could feel was hope for him still, hope that he would find his place and his peace. Sorrow and hope both filled my heart, it was an immense confusion of feelings inside of me. The agony of my loss, and the wish for his happiness. The darkness of rejection from him from the love I wasn’t getting back from him mixed with the relief from the burden and pressure from being under his thumb for so long. A sense of disappointment that he didn’t rise to meet my love but also freedom from the discomfort of the same trial. I had become lost in our relationship, in him. We had been walking next to each other but on different paths for so long. 

He told me when we broke up that I had been too good to him. I didn’t understand that at the time. How could you be too good to someone you love? What I was learning though wasn’t that I was too good to him, it was that I wasn’t being good enough to myself when we were together. The love I just gave to him wasn’t enough. I wasn’t being fair. I believe that love can take us many wonderful places but I now know that love must also be fairly given. It isn’t enough to just love another person, I must match that same love to myself. I needed to love myself as much as I had loved him. I needed to feel the same deep hope for my life as I did for his. 

In this break-up I found truth within myself. In my vulnerability and in my sadness I learned a most valuable lesson, that I needed to love myself more. This was my opportunity to love myself fiercely, to love all my own broken pieces purely and fully and to put them where they were meant to be. In that dark moment of loss, I found my own shining light. I found myself again. 


I am so very excited to be able to co-host some of this month’s prompts in #LoveBlog2017  You can check out Brita’s Intro Post to see all upcoming prompts for this month.


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Brita Long is the pink and sparkly personality behind the Christian feminist lifestyle blog, Belle Brita. While her first love will always be Paris, she lives happily with her husband Daniel Fleck in the Atlanta area.

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Jessica Lynn is the driving force behind Jessica Lynn Writes, a site about life as a pregnant, new, and toddler mom (currently expecting baby #3), military musings as an Air Force wife, and all the joy, laughter, and hardships life brings along the way. On JLW you’ll find tales about her journey around America, as well as good eats, fun crafts, real-life stories, and more.

 

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Laura is a big dreamer, full time marketing manager, blogger, and part-time artist. She aspires to inspire people in their everyday lives and help them to live towards their dreams and making the most out of their lives. She has been blogging for about 6 years now, more recently finding her glorious niche’ of sharing her stories and thoughts of life and daily inspiration.


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