A Heavy Heart For Our World Right Now

I awoke this morning lacking that feeling of refreshment that we typically get after a good night’s sleep. Instead I felt my heavy heart. Our world is feeling so much pain right now and I’m not quite sure how to process it all. Usually I would write these thoughts out in my journal through my morning routine but the thoughts I am having felt too heavy to put there. They felt as if I should be sharing them – maybe others are feeling and thinking them too.

COVID-19

When everything with COVID-19 began, I felt hopeful and was shiny-eyed with finding the silver linings and opportunities in the stress. I saw the stay at home orders as an opportunity to renew and to strengthen. I turned During this time home with my fiance, we worked to strengthen our relationship and become closer. And I worked on having better communication with my friends and family. I celebrated the places that I saw the community coming together and input where I could. I watched our nature heal itself during this time. These were beautiful things coming out of a hard time.

Then I watched the whole situation with COVID-19 become a political platform. It angered me and left me feeling frustrated. People used public health requests as personal slanders on their rights — it’s not folks. Wearing a mask is merely for safety not to take away your freedom – public health folks. Don’t you care about the others in your society enough to not whine and just put on a simple fabric mask? And this is why we are struggling so much to open back up. I have been lucky to not have family or friends sick or worse from the virus – but I have friends that haven’t had the same luck and they’ve lost loved ones. I wonder, could it have been prevented? Were they unnecessarily exposed? It breaks my heart. And it frustrates me.

The Riots

Fast forward and now on top of all of that, we had the horrific unjust murder happen in our country. Which has yes brought something to light but it has also spun out of unnecessary control of violence and hatred. I will always be in support of a peaceful protest but what I’m seeing, what’s highlighted is not a representation of this and that I cannot swallow. Last night, I sat and watched a video that was filmed 15 minutes away from my home in which a man jumped on a lady’s car and smashed her roof. I felt fear and saw hatred at that moment, not hope or protest.

I want to make something very clear here: I don’t care if you’re Black, White, or freaking blue polka-dotted. What determines who you are to me, is how you act and how you treat other people. I’d like to see others think the same – what if we all were color-blind? Would racism exist then? I despise racism and prejudice. This is not how we should judge.

Can we unite and spread love during this time?

I don’t typically share my thoughts when it comes to things like this but I am feeling lonely and so hurt right now but the hate in our world. I am in search of love and hope. Stealing and vandalizing is not moving us forward.

Can we come together on our beliefs, agree to disagree on the disagreements and truly bring love back to our world?

Please don’t let hate lead you in life. It is an awful poison.