Day five of the LoveBlog and I already have some catching up to do. I have a bit of a good story to as why though and I’m not feeling so behind that I can’t get all caught up – – I just want to get some engagement and shares going on for my fellow LoveBloggers! Today I’ll be chatting about how personal relationships with money matter but I want to preface and throwback a little to the beginning of this week. I co-hosted day two which was about self-care. Here I shared my story of how I slipped out of my good self-care routines and practices. Self-care really bleeds into all areas of our lives, including in practicing good money habits and in being in a job or career that is overall healthy for us. That means those jobs that are burning you out, you should be shedding, and the in-betweens too.
This week I started a new job. That’s why I’m behind a bit this week. Getting readjusted back to the 9 am to 5 pm has been a little bit more challenging than I thought it would be. But it’s all for good stuff!
Okay, well there’s my update (I’ll stop jabbering so much now…maybe). I bring this all up because don’t jobs have to do with money. And even more so, don’t our jobs have an impression on our personal relationships with money?
What am I talking about when I say personal relationships with money?
When you think about money, what are the first few thoughts that come to your mind?
Do you feel tight or do you feel comfortable financially?
Do you think you never have enough money?
These are some initial questions you have to ask yourself – you have to determine your true feelings about money first. Then you can start to identify your relationships with money better.
Here is a personal story.
When I was a very young adult, I made pretty good money for eighteen. I had a decent size of disposable income. I didn’t have any kids, I wasn’t married, and I didn’t own a house. My personal relationship with money was that I always had excess. It kept coming in so I fell into a habit of keep spending it. I wasn’t a very good saver.
Then I left my job and went to college. I was managing but I wasn’t in the same space for sure. I still wasn’t saving.
Fast forward, I’m making about the same income but at this time I was going into a divorce. I had more bills and a son. My income was comparable to when I was eighteen but my expenses were not. And with the divorce, we went from two incomes and one household to us each having one income and our own households. Things got a bit tough. And they continued to stay tough for a while – in hindsight many lessons learned but that’s another post for another time.
This is where my personal relationship with money changed.
I didn’t always have enough money to pay all my bills so I started picking and choosing and prioritizing what got paid and what didn’t. My relationship became I didn’t have it so why bother? It was not a healthy relationship.
This was toxic because even when I started bringing in more income to be able to make my bills I was stuck in that unhealthy personal relationship with money. I’d overspend and not stick to budgets because in my head, my stuck perspective, was that I didn’t have the money to pay bills so why try?
You can change the personal relationships you have with money.
Just like any relationship you have in your life, you can change or rid yourself of unhealthy relationships. It takes some work though.
- I asked for help. It helped to have someone to look in at my situation and help me build a plan to change it. I needed support.
- Track all your spending. You need this awareness.
- Make a plan. Budgets, budgets, budgets. Like on paper or in a spreadsheet. Make it visual. Create rules for your spending, your saving, etc. Check out my post about budgets here (and grab your free budget template!)
- Just like you asked for help and support, ask for accountability.
- Be nice to yourself. Forgive yourself if you slip. Cheer yourself on to keep working at it.