Wow, Day 11 of #LoveBlog2020 already. We’re about half-way through the challenge. A good day to chat about our prompt today. I’m running late this morning (laptop wouldn’t connect to the darn internet) and I’m still behind on my comments a bit for all you lovely bloggers. I’m here batting off thoughts of how I’m the worst – – – which seems like a good time to think about where does respect really matter?
It matters in all areas of our lives.
It matters in all of our relationships.
Typically, in a good setting, we are taught to respect others. Especially respect elders and authority figures.
- Use good manners. Say please and thank you.
- Pay attention when addressed.
- Listen when spoken to.
- Speak respectfully. Don’t slander, yell, etc.
- Don’t be greedy.
Kind of the basics, right? Although, we get rushed and stressed and we let these basics slide sometimes. This is a good time to stop and check yourself. Have you been showing it to all of those around you? Even when it’s a bit tougher to have respect for them? Dig for it, it’ll make YOU a better person. Choosing kindness above all will help – How to be Kind With Tough People & Situations
And does respect really matter when it comes to yourself?
I came across this article from A Conscious Rethink, 20 Signs You’re Disrespecting Yourself, and well…let’s chat about that topic a bit.
Why do we find it easier to respect others than ourselves? This is a deeper, core issue. And unfortunately, it is an issue common in our society.
It also leads to a lot of struggles that we have with ourselves. When we do not respect ourselves, we don’t take good care of ourselves.
The respect we have for ourselves will determine our expectations from others.
If you don’t demand respect from yourself, habitually you won’t expect it from others either. It’s in the same realm of “if you believe you are hard to love, then you will be hard to love.” We project what we believe.
So how do I start demanding more self-respect?
Well, first I show up for myself. What do I need right now? How do I provide that for myself? This is a great opportunity for journaling. Make a list of all the things that make you feel good and that you need more of in your life.
That’s the easy part, now we have to put that into action. How do I get more of that on my list? Write this out in your journal too.
One of the things that was on my list was that I needed more support. And that meant I had some hard work, soul-searching and some emotional work to do too. I needed to end some relationships that weren’t giving me what I needed to make space for healthier ones. This was a tough process but it became easier to do as I built up more self-respect.
Another way to show yourself respect is to be forgiving of yourself. You can’t beat yourself up for every little thing and then expect to feel good. I’m a perfectionist, I really struggle with this. But I’ve also pushed through and been on the flip side. Guess what, it’s okay to make mistakes. That’s one way we learn and grow. And growing feels better than being perfect.
Put yourself first. Yup, first is what I said. I am a #recoveringpeoplepleaser. But, when I put myself first I can do more for others because my needs are met. I am a better me and the better me can help others. The me-first girl sets healthy boundaries. This girl knows what is truly possible and is not, and she is also proud of her accomplishments. She is caring, giving and nurturing. She is not burnt out.
Real-Life in the moment Lesson Time:
So respect for yourself takes a good amount of self-talk too. At the beginning of this post, I was like, shit, I’m awful. Now I”m like, man I got a lot going on and look at me still getting it done. Maybe not in a perfect way. And yeah, crap isn’t always working right but I’m pushing through. You go, girl!
If you keep practicing all those self things, you’ll keep moving forward: self-care, self-talk, self-respect, self-love!!!